I watched Family Feud Nigeria. Nigerians are too much, in a good way. They are who they think they are. Practically everyone who’s come on this show has a side hustle. If your mind went to WhatsApp vendors, you must be feeling annoyed by them. Most of these side hustles involve selling physical products. Apart from taking what you sell to your place of work, where else could you carry out this valuable exchange of goods for money? Social media. WhatsApp. Wherever. We must sha secure this bag.
A friend of mine used to be a meme queen until she started an interior decor business. It felt like waking up to your sure laughter and cruise plug keeping a straight face. You check their WhatsApp status every day and meet utter disappointment. I can remember thinking “omo, life is really getting serious o, even Chika no dey post memes again.” Chika continued to post only pictures of the products she sold on her WhatsApp status: she had taken this “carry your business on your head” advice too personally. I had a habit of checking her WhatsApp status until she started her business. There used to always be something there to brighten my day. Nowadays, she posts memes once-once. Once in a while doesn’t do it for me, but what can I say when I don’t pay her bills?
Family Feud Nigeria made me feel out of touch with Nigerians. Didn’t we all drink garri with groundnut, kulikuli, beans, and milk? Some people decided to work overtime and drink garri with suya, fried meat, and fish. Or was it me who didn’t get the memo? I have seen people eat fish with plain swallow - with no soup - but not drink garri with it. Some people even drink garri with coconut. Won’t you choke?! Constipation nko? I’m probably 80% Nigerian or something because I don’t understand some of the responses I saw on the show.
I would love to watch the show with my family. My dad would probably be around somewhere, uninterested. My mum would sit close to the TV, squinting and telling my younger brother every five minutes to keep quiet so she could hear what was being said while she would give the rest of us the African mother eyes to make us keep quiet. You would always find me somewhere not close to her, laughing. Family time was always a good time for me.
These days, every road leads me home. My brother sends me Milo from Nigeria when we find someone who’s coming to my part of the world. There’s milo where I live but the Nigerian Milo is unmatched. Even the Fanta in Nigeria has a different taste from the Fanta here. I’ve watched the price of milo in Nigeria rise to match and exceed the price of milo here, so I said I would just buy the milo here and add some sugar. My brother said he was going to send some Milo anyway. Around August and January, when a new semester is about to begin, my parents always ask me to send a list of the foodstuff I want from Nigeria. It feels good; like I’m still their baby girl.
My sister used to call me every Sunday when I was in flight school. She was in pharmacy school. Sometimes she called me at 5 a.m. on weekdays if she was going to be busy. I always whined about her calling me that early because I was a night person and usually slept between 2 and 4 a.m. At least she did call. I hardly ever called. I hardly call. I loved the Sunday calls and would call her the few Sundays she did not call around the expected time. My sister taught me to cook before she left for uni because shey I go dey starve ni? She taught me almost everything I needed to know. I can remember how intensely we prayed for her university admission. My sister is love and light, with a sprinkle of craze.
In my family, we don’t say “I love you,” we just show up for each other selflessly. My eldest sister is the best at showing up. She would move heaven and earth to find what it is that you need. The same goes for my other siblings. Just say the word and watch everyone move the mountains they can for you. Nowadays, I tell my mum I love her when she feels bad about something because I might not be able to move mountains for her where I’m at, and I only hope my words remind her that I would do so if I could.
To me, love means showing up and coming through. I don’t know how to not do these things for my loved ones.
Abeg, check Chika's Instagram business page and buy a thing or three. Maybe she will pity me and the other people who enjoyed her memes and post more if her business is doing well.
See you when I see you, maybe in another three months. But I hope it will be sooner.